Euphoric Nostalgia

I LEFT BLOGGER...

2009-05-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

and moved here :D

Too much happiness made me forget to update :D

2009-04-20T18:44:00.004+08:00

Yes I am still happy right now. The feeling is just so intense that it doesn't want to leave me, well I hope it doesn't for a looooong time :D So, a lot has happened since my last update. First, I was finally able to clear everything in school. After the long walks and several aching muscles and bruises on my feet. Also, I had my very first experience of getting stuck in the elevator as in totally lights out. I wasn't alone though. Still I wanted to panic because just imagine the size of the elevator in PGH and imagine having like 10 people there with you. Talk about suffocationnnnnn xD Fortunately, it didn't last that long. I'll prolly be staying away from elevators from now on because of that experience.

Then finally, UP Manila College Graduation was done! I had to rush everything. My dress was too big for me (since I just borrowed it from my sister), barely had make up on my face because I just move really really slow, my hair was a mess and my shoes were killing me 8D Talk about disaster! Good thing my sister drives like an F1 driver; exaggerated, I know ;) But then again, the experience was great and very very fulfilling XD Congrats to the centennial graduates! XD A couple more days and its hello University Graduation; oh and hello boredom and starvation as well.

And the last one was the Magna Carta shoot was finally pushed through. GAWD, I wasn't able to sleep well because I was so nervous that my costume would be FAIL at the shoot. Good thing the people were nice :3 It was nice working with them and most of all it was nice meeting new people 8D I can't wait for Part 2 XDDD Credits to Emile Tang and Kunebitt for being awesome organizers.

So that's basically it. Sorry for being hyper though :3

Since I'm bored...

2009-04-10T15:50:00.005+08:00

I decided to look for pictures of clothes, shoes and accessories that I really like now. Obviously I have extreme liking for boots and killer pumps right now :) Kinda got tired looking so I'll go now and watch an anime. Bye! :)

Happy Birthday phone! :)

2009-04-02T21:56:00.002+08:00

It's my cellphone's first birthday today :D I'm really happy about coz it's the first time since i don't rememver that I had a single phone for this long :) I realized that I should really have those trendy ones coz I rather lose or break it or worse, they get stolen D;

Sent text messages
60805 messages
63014 parts

Received text messages
63622 messages
68500 parts

In the course of that 1 year :) Ang dami noh? Di ko rin alam pano nangyari yan eh xD

Single :)

2009-04-01T13:10:00.004+08:00

As of 11am today, I am officially 1 year single :) As I think of the months that have passed, I realized that there were a lot of could-have-beens :) There were people that I might have allowed to get to know me, and there were some that I wish I didn't hold back. Most of them are happy with their own relationships now. And that's when I realized that the reason why I wasn't able to end up with any of them is because they would find others who could love them more than I do :) God said, any of them weren't meant for me. So I'll just wait 'til the right one comes along. Sounds cliche, but it's better than looking and getting hurt in the process anyway :)

For people who are saying that I'm bitter or that I'm lonely because I'm still loveless, then I think you all are pathetic :) Sorry ha, ang babaw kasi ng definition niyo ng pagiging happy eh :) Happiness isn't just measured on having a boyfriend :) And besides, I'm genuinely happy now. Kung ayaw niyo maniwala, kebs :))

Here's a collage containing the highlights of each month during the course of that 1 year. I found out that I didn't have any highlight in February. I mean I did, but posting it here would lead to chaos so I'll just keep that picture of mine with %$#(%^#(*%&) in private :)

Reminscing on a cold, rainy morning.

2009-03-26T01:08:00.003+08:00

It's morning already and I'm wide awake. My mind is full of thoughts ranging from school related things to what-might-have-beens. RAR. This is the reason why I hate the rain. The atmosphere on a rainy day stimulates you to think of things that you shouldn't be thinking. Negative issues to be exact. Instead of editing my thesis, I think of other unimportant things. Hay Leny, when will you ever learn and forget.

Sometimes I ask myself, if this isn't love then what is this? Well maybe, it's katangahan. Oh the joy of having to remember once again *insert sarcasm here*

Like water falling from the sky.

2009-03-21T20:36:00.002+08:00

Schoolworks, oh schoolworks. Your presence is strong. You keep on coming during times when I need sleep the most. While the rest of my friends are out having fun, I'm stuck at home still finishing the schoolworks I have to do. Right now, I'm doing my Psych project. I still have 4 more to do. RAR. Oh well. Nothing good will happen if I'll keep on pouring my rants here tonight. Yes? Yes.

A completely random thought.

bago pa sumikat yang kantang Mad - Neyo may nagsabi narin sakin na "Ayaw kong matutulog kang magkagalit tayo. Dapat lahat maaayos bago matulog :)"

YEY~

2009-03-18T21:46:00.003+08:00

It is now official, LENY HAS A CRUSH. FINALLY! Nalaman ko ang name ng guy na ito kahapon yata from a friend. AHAHAHA. At grabe wala lang ang cute niya kasi :) I will be giving no clues here. SECRET KO TO OKAY wag magulo. Gusto ko lang ishare kasi tuwang tuwa ako XD

Ate Ice, napanaginipan kita kagabi. Miss na kita...

We had so much in store.

2009-03-15T10:22:00.002+08:00

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,

Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

I just heard the song, The man who can't be moved by The Script a while ago. I really find that song sweet. A girl would be so lucky if someone loved her that much. It's not really easy to meet a person with such kind of dedication. Anyway, I haven't got much sleep today because I was trying to finish my thesis this morning (3 am) but apparently, I can't. My enemy (a.k.a. sleep) beat me yet again! So I hope I'll get to finish something today. I want a productive day. I can't keep on wasting it playing the applications on facebook or plukring for karma (though I just finished doing those 2, HAHA).

So that's all. Bye for now beings, the yellow alien will do her thesis now.

Oh and yea, Happy Birthday Pat.

You changed my whole life :)

2009-03-13T18:43:00.002+08:00

Yes, the title is from the song Superhuman. I still like the song despite the fact that I'm way disappointed with Chris Brown. I love the song, not the singer. LOL. Anyway, some might think that hey, maybe Leny's inlove now. Well, not really. I'm just happy. And I think there's a great distinction between being inlove and happy. You can be inlove but not happy, you can be happy but not inlove. In short, one thing doesn't cause another. So yeah that's basically what I'm feeling now. I don't know why but I just feel so light at this very moment. But I really should be worried now because my thesis adviser's gonna kill me if I don't get to submit a draft by next week.

Shame! The song playing on iTunes now is Evidence by Urbandub. LOL. And I just remembered that it's Friday the 13th now. Kaya pala minalas ako sa school kanina. AHAHAHA. I'd have to endure another Friday the 13th this November. Got that here. But on a completely lighter and happier note, Tito Andy is also celebrating his birthday today. I hope he gets my email though XD

Just a couple of weeks left and it's hello graduation. I hope graduation will be mine by the way. I want to graduate. Have I said that on my previous entries already? Forgive me for being so desperate, but yes I'm desperate. HAHAHA. Desperation is eating my sanity now. LOL XD Please pray for me? :D It'll really really help me boost my confidence and my optimism.

So anyhoo, I have to say bye now 'coz yea thesis needs me. LOL.

Blank.

2009-03-04T23:10:00.003+08:00

Finally, I'm done with my speech outline. But honestly, I don't know if it's worth delivering in the first place. I just rushed it, again. GAH. I just hope I deliver well enough to get a good grade. Anyhoo, since I'm done with my outline, I thought of editing my thesis. But here's the catch, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EDIT! Lameeeee! Oh Lord please help me *_*

Before it's too late.

2009-03-02T23:47:00.003+08:00

Before it's too late, I want to make sure I'm taking my thesis seriously. I don't wanna end up defending something so shallow or so worthless. I don't know why but it seems like my classmates' thesis are really really good. And mine's like BLAH. Seriously now, I'm really really worried about my study. I don't wanna fail pleaseeeee *o*

Anyway, I attended Tagcom yesterday and it was FUN :D I didn't attend classes today, not that I slept late because I was doing some schoolworks, rather I was just too lazy to wake up this morning. Because of that, the computer was my only friend the whole day. Talk about boring ._.

So there, bye for now. I just updated for the LULZ

It all boils down to this again.

2009-02-28T20:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday and today, you're on my mind. Would you still be there tomorrow and the days after that?

photo grabbed here.

The days that were

2009-02-24T19:00:00.002+08:00

full of pressure, frustration and happiness.

Just 2 days ago, my mom opened the topic about my ex-boyfriend, again. And she mentioned it to a lot of people just a couple of hours ago. It's just funny because my mom seems to be more affected than me for what my ex did. My reaction was just "Mommy ano ba!" and the laugh out loud.

What I regret most lately was that I didn't tell my mom earlier that I had this event that I wanted to attend. I wasn't allowed to go to Victorian Valentine which I desperately desperately want to attend. It was, supposed to be, my first. To compensate, I told myself that I have to at least start something but here I am again, updating my blog with practically nothing. It wasn't a productive weekend.

And just a while ago, I cried. I cried so much. Thesis is really pressuring me now. I want to graduate on time; I really really want to. I got my grad pic too today and I told my mom not to display it yet, at least not until I graduate.

And now I feel sick. When I cosplayed at UP AME last year, I said contacts make me cry the most, but now, thesis makes me cry the most. Oh Lord, helppppp.

When the heart becomes the star of the day.

2009-02-14T00:10:00.001+08:00

To the people who have their special someone;
To the people who chose to spend this day with their friends;
To the single ladies and gentlemen;

Happy Valentines Day :)

Yes, it is cliche to say that you don't really need a date on Valentines day but it is somewhat true. But then again, who said that, that date must be your girlfriend or boyfriend? Why can't it be your family, your friends or your pet? The joy you'll feel when you're on a date depends on how you and your date/s will spend it and not on who you'll spend it with :)

On a different topic now, I have finally moved on from a very short bliss. The feeling was euphoric until it lasted. Yes, he did miss me that day but the feeling started and ended the same day. So goodbye again love :)

As for me, I'll have my very perfect date later while I'm sleeping.

Again, Happy Valentines Day everyone, you all enjoy the love day ;)

Drama.

2009-02-08T11:05:00.004+08:00

I am one person who gives way most of the time. I always end up letting go of someone for other people's sake. Not because I don't love the person, but because I don't do want to be involved in dramas. There was this point in my life when I had to give up someone so special for a person who I thought was a friend. I had forgotten all of that several months ago because I have been busy with things and friends. One of those things is cosplaying. Cosplaying has given so much happiness. Like I said before, you get to meet people who share same interests. Whenever I am at conventions, it's like I never have to think of a problem in my life, ever...

I was enjoying cosplay so much until recently; when I found out that someone will be cosplaying too. I didn't even know that that person would even consider doing it.

Minsan kahit anong paglalayo ang gawin mo, hindi ka talaga lalayuan eh no? Sana lang tantanan na ako. Nakuha mo na yung tanging tao na iniingatan ko nun, pati ba naman ito?

Ranting on a Sunday morning, tsk.

Bakit may mga bagay na hindi na pwede?

2009-02-03T18:49:00.002+08:00

Yan ang status message ko sa ym. Ngayon, oo nga bakit nga ba ganun? Simulan natin sa paborito mong pagkain na hindi mo na pwedeng kainin dahil panis na. O kaya hindi mo na mapapasa ang assignment mo dahil nalate ka na ng pasok at hindi na daw tumatanggap ng late assignments ang prof mo. Sa mga pangayayaring ito, isa lang maiisip mo -- sayang.

This has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world, at least for me. I hate having to regret something. I hate thinking about how things would turn out if I did this or that. I'm not the biggest risk-taker. I'm quite paranoid actually, I usually think outside the box when I'm faced with hard decisions. And usually, I get to do what's right, I think I do. It's been a while since I had these thoughts in my mind. It's actually interfeering with my schoolworks because now I have to think of all of these all at the same time.

It is never wrong to love. But it depends on the situation. It is wrong to love if the person who you love belongs to someone else. But the sadder part is when you distance yourself to the person who was really yours to begin with.

Softly we tremble tonight.

2009-02-01T20:23:00.002+08:00

Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left inside.

I said I'll never leave, you'll never change

I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

AHAHAHA :)))))))))

2009-01-18T10:17:00.000+08:00

Grabe kagabi bigla kong nalaman na magsisimba pala kami. Tas sabi ko "bat di nyo ko sinabihan?" Aba ang sagot ng nanay ko eh akala daw nila hindi ako sasama. Naman, ganun ba kasama ang tingin nila sakin? LOL. :)) Tagal na naming di nagsisimba sa PhilAm church. Eh tas may crush ako dun. Isang family sila tas everytime makikita ko sila, magkakasama sila nagsisimba. Kaya nacutan ako dun sa panganay yata yun kasi nga kasama siya nagsisimba parati. Parang :") lang. HAHAHA :)) Pagdating namin dun sabi ko sana makita ko si *insert codename here* pero sabi ko impsible yun kasi usually Sunday morning sila nagsisimba. Tas nung nakaupo na kami may nakita ako, sabi ko familiar yun pala daddy niya. PARANG OMG nandun din pala sila. HAHAHAHA. Natawa nalang ako sobrang gulat eh XD [Take note, hindi ko siya kilala personally at hindi ko rin siya kilala personally] LOL.

Tas kanina inopen ko ung site ko, viniew ulet ako ng crush ko *faints* LOL. Wala lang share ko lang. Umuulan kasi ng crush HAHAHAHA. Yun lang :P

LalalaLOVE.

2009-01-13T00:06:00.001+08:00

Hindi man naging kami sa huli...

siya parin ang first love ko :)

-- McDo commercial. Ang cute :D

Failure.

2009-01-10T12:31:00.004+08:00

Closures can be a good and a bad thing.
It gives you answers to those hanging questions.
It makes you realize what is left from everything.
It makes your feelings somewhat better.

but, it also makes you realize that you have to let go even though you still want to hold on.

Finally we meet, 2009 :)

2008-12-31T23:51:00.004+08:00

I didn't have a good start in 2008. At least I was happy during the new year, but 4 months after that, I felt probably the saddest feeling in my life. It was a day I wouldn't forget; both for it's good and bad memories. Bad in a sense that it was the first time I really felt betrayed and fooled. Good in a sense that, that day was the day I knew I can make it ALONE; that I can leave everything behind. Thankfully, just days after the heartbreak, I was made aware of the people who would stay with me just to make sure I would be okay. And having people back you up during that crucial time was really a blessing. I didn't know much I had before. I had to lose 2 people to realize that.

Of friends. Dearly beloved friends. Thank you! Thank you for sharing such good memories. I can't think of any more ways to thank you. My 2008 was a blast because of ALL of you :)
Of family. This was a good year. Why? Because my mom and my sister are okay now. My mom didn't get that much angry with me (because she told me I was a better daughter this year. Oh yes!)
I also didn't have much arguments with my sister.
Of acads. GAAHD. I made a vow never to cram. But still up to this very moment, I am still cramming. But I promised myself (though I still have doubts) that yes, I, together with the rest of my classmates, must altogether graduate this coming year! Good luck to all of us ;)
Of love. Oh yes love you never left me. You are with me all along. :)

In 2008:

I fell inlove.
I got my heart broken.
I cried.
I moved on.
I met new people.
I tried new things.
I had my first job (partly. I was an intern actually. HAHA.)
I abused my laptop.
I thought of my thesis topic.
I ate loads of ice cream.
I ran for a position in my course organization.
I had photoshoots :3
I met new and awesome friends.
I laugh til I nearly cried.
I dance all night long.
I attended my first party.
I made a vow to stop drinking.
I had 2 sleepovers.
I went to EK with friends.
I have overcome my fear in debating.
I had tons of crushes.
I had videoke sessions with friends.

To the people who made my 2008 a blast. THANKYOU! You don't know how much you've made me smile, laugh and appreciate life all over again :)
I love you. :)

Solido [ Bars. Chai. Chin. Donat. Jay. Jhesz. Joan. Karen. Kenneth D. Kenneth P. Maane. Marvin. Myk. Nico. Ralph. Tot. Yis. ]

Sailorstars [ Az. Chelly. Faye. Frances. Monica. ]

Tropang Joker [ Bj. Crest. Gabs. Jilo. Kerjay. Michael/Jenny. Pao. Pot. Rhomar. Sym. ]

Muse [ Mara. Mars. Raine. ]

Twilight Statuesques [ Amon. Anna. Ehm. Ely. Ira. Jackie. Jamil. Jero. Jio. Junie. Karen. Kiting. Kristine. Lem. Louie. Mark. Meoki. Owdie. Pao. Pat. Rhein. September. Skye. Tiffany. Sieg. Xelene. ]

Cosplay peeps / OMAKE [ Sayou. Aya. M. Nel. Eden. Madz. Justine. China. Jeun. Uretz. Light. Lyron. Nilo. Gian. Jen. Vany. Daniela. Aiko. Via. Fatsy. and moooooore XD ]

UP friends [ you are all TOO MANY to enumrate XD ]

Caloi. Iñaki. Jabo. Lure. Nappy. Nikko. Trisha. Alexy. Ate Ea. Ariks. Kuya Lloyd. Kuya Jethro. Mr. Ronald Guanzon. Matt. Cxarie. Cleo. Near. Maine. 3xC. Matt. Yka. James. Chymbe. Dyaz. Alfaye. Bryan.

Tito Andy, Tita Nancy, Ate Nat :)

I love you Mom, Ate Aby, Ate Kat and Ashley :D

And many more. You may not be on the list but it DOESN'T mean you aren't important :)

Can you all do me a favor? Can you please stay with me next year, and the year after that and the yearS after that? Please :D

I lost 2 friends. Yes, but I gained more than I can ever Imagine. 2008 wasn't a good year at first, but from the 93rd to the 366th day I could not say anything more but WOW. :) I wouldn't say that I was a better person this past 2008, but I would definitely say I'm HAPPIER :)

As I bid farewell to a great 2008, I welcome with arms wide open a greater 2009 :) Let's all have a wonderful 2009, shall we? More cosplays, more fun, less worries. Lovette! XD

Love on Earth and in Heaven.

2008-12-28T21:15:00.003+08:00

Live your life to the fullest, 'coz you'll never know when it's your time.
Cherish the people you love. It might be their last time in this world.
Never forget to make people feel how much you love them. So when they're no longer here, they'll remember how much happiness they felt when they were with you.

Life is short. What matters most is how well you lived. And Ate Ice, you lived it well. Very very well that I never regretted the time I met you. And I know the people around you feel that too.

I'm gonna miss you Ate Ice. Rest in piece.

Regret.

2008-12-28T18:20:00.004+08:00

One heartbreak.

Two eyes crying.

Three words never said again.

Four hands that won't be held.

Five mornings you'll pass him/her in the halls.

Six love notes, ripped and torn.

Seven days a week you'll think of him/her.

Eight sad songs at night before going to bed.

Nine wishes that never came true.

Ten years before he/she realizes that it has...

always been YOU.

- a quote someone sent to me this afternoon.

Merry Christmas :D

2008-12-24T23:04:00.002+08:00

I know that mostly everyone has greeted you a Merry Christmas. And I'm one of them :D This Christmas is definitely a fun one. A year ago, my mom got sick and my sisters were out so it was basically just me and my mom here at home. But now, we're complete (with Boom Boom of course). Last Christmas too, someone picked me up so that someone would come with me to the drugstore. Wherever he is, I know he's happy.

I think my Christmas would be great, I hope yours would be too :)

Oh Christmas, I can't feel you.

2008-12-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

I don't know what I was doing yesterday but I was able to read my old blg. It contained a lost of sad posts in it. There were feelings there that I haven't felt for a long time. But I noticed the number of entries I had there. That blog indeed contained more entries compared with this. I want to blog everyday, but the problem is I don't know what to write about. I need inspiration. GAAH.

Anyway, in a matter of days, it's hello Christmas. The only thing I can feel about Christmas is the cold weather. Apart from that, there's nothing else. I'm not as excited as I were before. Surely I know nothing's missing but why am I feeling this way?

There's nothing wrong with wishing ;)

2008-12-16T19:04:00.005+08:00

I haven't been updating my blog again because I've been pretty lazy these past few days. I don't spend much time logged on in friendster too. I just go home, check my email, check updates then watch DVD. AHAHA. A bum's life? Yea. So our classes ended today. Yey for that. But when we all get back next year, I'm sure we'll all be busy with thesis. GAAH thesis ._.

So anyway, I was really bored this afternoon that I decided to look for the things I would want to hopefully receive this Christmas:

01

01

Benz SLR McLaren (ASA Leny. HAHA)

02

2008 Mazda 6

I love cars. I'd like a Fortuner or an Altis too XD

03

iMac

04

Acer Ferrari laptop

05

Sony Ericsson C905

06

Canon Powershot SD990

07

Bronze PSP

08

08

08

Adorable shoes from Keds.

09

ODM Watch

010

Hello Kitty rain boots.

011

Cuuuute Kipling backpack.

012

Kuromi bracelet :3

and finally *drumroll*

013

A POMERANIAN! XD

A lot eh? And mostly unattainable. Well, that's why they're part of my WISHlist anyway ;)

Everything we had.

2008-12-05T23:12:00.004+08:00

"Nung nakita ka nya, biglang tumakbo."

May gantong factor? :))

When I asked my friends what could be the reason why a person reacts that way, they weren't really able to answer my question.

Ikaw kunwari nakita mo ex mo, tas tumakbo ka, bakit ganun? *taas kilay*

Hello December :)

2008-12-01T16:22:00.002+08:00

...we meet once again. I didn't realize that it was already December until Caloi greeted me "advance happy Christmas". It's very usual for me to forget the date. I usually spend my day being a bum so having to monitor the date is such a hard, hard work for me already. HAHAHA.

Most people would prolly think of Santa when they think of December. Some, like me, picture a snowy christmas. I wanna know how it feels to hold the snow. I want a really cold Christmas, just for a change :)

And just now, my sister played the song "The Distance". Gah, that's a one sad song isn't it? I don't want to see the sky lose it's color. HAHAHA. Okay, I'm being lame now. Anyway, I'm missing someone now. Sana matapilok siya. Joke lang :))

GAAH.

2008-11-29T21:52:00.006+08:00

This Twilight Fever is killing me. It's like overdose. HAHA. Everywhere I go, people are mumbling about Twilight. When I opened my Yahoo! Messenger, the stats all contained Twilight or Edward Cullen in it. Even quotes being sent to me contained them. And I'm sorry but I'm just not a fan. I love vampires but Twilight has nothing to do with it. HAHAHA. I once had this interest to read the series but it suddenly became the interest of mostly everyone around me. And I just don't like things getting mainstreamed. I have nothing against the movie, the book series and the avid fans of Twilight though :)

While eveyone else was falling for Edward Cullen, I was too busy loving the new people I've met in the past months :) You know how some people like making friends on friendster? Well I'm one of them :) It's a good thing that by the time I had lost the effort to log in on friendster everyday, I was able to meet them. And if friendster collapses anytime, the friendship I had with these people would stay with me for a looooooooooong time :)

I have been accused of being a snob on friendster. The reason? Well it's because I haven't been replying to the comments they've been sending me. Shallow eh? I tried explaining that I don't have that much time to waste on friendster and that I have social life too. But they just don't quite understand that do they? But, wth. I can't please everyone. And I won't even try :)

Jero Malan. Lionheart. He's that pacute guy who sent me a comment some time in July I think. He basically flirts with everyone else. HAHAHAHAHA! His humor would drive you nuts! He would have these hirits and these jokes that'll make you laugh haaaaaaard! That's what I love about this guy, his ability to make people laugh just comes natural :)

Jackie Prieto. I met Jackie through friendster too. Despite the fact that we haven't seen each other in person yet, we have already been close. And by the time I got to meet her personally, I was so excited and so happy that when I got home I missed her sooooo much! I remember the days when I ran to her asking for help. And she was the only person in the whole world who gave me the most sensible pieces of advice. We call each other "kembs" fro kambal kasi may mga oras na pareho ung nangyayari sa buhay namin :) Pranka si Jackie. That's why people love her so much (including me of course! :D)

Jabo Pineda. Beb ko :). At a glance, you'd think Jabo would be the typical isnaberong gwapo :) But noooooooo XD Jabo's a really fun person. Mga banat nyan parang si Jero din :P He's very sweet and he appreciates whatever life has to offer. He is a big fan of Bob Ong :P Diba beb? :D

Mark Chua. Crush. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee the sweetest! Yey~ I have lots of fun talking to Mark. I am one happy girl because he has been very open with me. He has shared his problems with me and that makes me flattered. I never thought we'd be close :) So I'm really glad when he said that I'm one of his closest friends in TS. And Mark, you are one my closest friends too, not only in TS :)

Iñaki Carlotta. I've known Yax for sometime now but it wasn't until recently that we were able to talk. To be honest, I was intimidated to talk to him because he might find me boring. HAHAHA. I was just so touched when he shared something to me on our very first conversation. I'm like "wow". And mind you, he was the person who changed my view that people dont change. He's also a deep person. If you read his entries, you'd get hooked to it. Like it'll leave you wanting for more :) Thank you Yax for sharing your experiences and your views on life :) You're great the way you are now, keep it that way ;)

James Simon. Light. One of the most fun person to talk to. HAHAHA. He's pretty green minded but I love him anyway. He can be pretty dramatic sometimes but I can always joke around to make him laugh. If I were to grade his efforts it would be A+. Dati yan gigising ng maaga para tumawag sakin at itext ako. Di pa uso ung 20/call nun. HAHAHA. Tas hihintayin pa ko magol nyan sa ym pag hindi ako nagrereply. So no matter what happens, I'll always be his Misa :)

Caloi Navarro. Alodio. LOL joke lang Caloi. HAHAHA XD I just talked to Caloi through online medium too. He wouldn't usually talk to anyone and I'm glad we do :) At first I thought he was a snob but he definitely isn't. He prolly just doesn't like boring topics and people. I mean, would you? I have fun talking with Caloi. Ang dami naming laughtrip. Ang dami kasi naming alam! HAHAHA. Bongga mahal ko narin yang si Caloi kala nio? :))

*The order of their names is the same with the order of my featured friends :)

These people I've mentioned have become so special to me because they have shown me who they really are. They never pretended to be anyone else. They were raw, just the way I like it ;)) The love I have for them has nothing to do with how they look. They just happen to be gwapo/maganda. But they have so much more to offer beyond those looks, believe me :)

Screw up.

2008-11-26T16:50:00.005+08:00

The reason why I some kinda like not blogging for days is that I get my thoughts piled up that I usually have a lot to blog about once I get hold of the computer. Yesterday, during my Psych class I was doodling (yes, intsead of paying attention) on my notebook about things that I want to blog about. But I'll write that near the end :)

And so I thought all the drama that I had to experience and witness only existed in high school. I was basically one of the quiet ones but I always end up getting in an argument. Backfighting and boys were, lets say, the most favorite topic. During my high school years, I had a couple of misunderstandings with friends and handful with others. I was so mababaw that I usually made small things a big issue.

There was once in my life that I had these 3 big arguments with people because of my ex-boyfriend. I kept on blaming the girl instead of blaming both of them. I was too stupid that I always think that my ex was a good person. HAHAHA. If someone could slap me in the face because of my katangahan back then, my cheeks would've been very sore everyday.

Akala ko ang agawan ng boyfriend uso lang pag high school. It turns out, it still existing in college. Hindi nga lang sobrang maeksena. ;) The reason may be because people who get involved in these arguments don't keep the problems with themselves. They usually confront the person involved which makes patching up, should I say faster? But there are still some, of course, who can't easily forgive the other person. A reaction that's very understandable especially when the cause of the argument's way way serious.

Ako naman, madaling magpatawad pero hindi madaling makalimutan yung mga ginawa. Mapagtanim? Yes, yes. It's because I don't get mad that easily. So when I do, I'm sure it's a really serious one and it most definitely hurt me. XD

Wiw I'm near the end of post already so here goes the thought I had during Psych class yesterday. I wrote on my notebook that A heart can never be broken. And I just thought of my friends who allow heart breaks affect them so much that they usually turn to a different person. Yung iba nagiging lasinggera, yung iba naman nagpapapabaya sa pagaaral. Tapos kahit ilang milyong beses mo pagsabihan ayaw naman makinig ._. It hurts me a lot to see my friends go through these. I just don't think it's right. I mean right before meeting the person who hurt, I'm sure you were perfectly fine with your life and yourself. Sabagay, may attachment na kasi talaga so letting go is a really hard process.

Right now I'm single. I was able to accept the break up easily than the previous ones 'coz I have conditioned myself that I was fine before there was a "we". Dati sobrang iniisip ko na there's no one else who could make me really happy. Aba naman, marami naman pala silang makakapgparamdam sakin ng saya :) I was just to preoccupied with one person that I forgot there were other people.

I don't have a boyfriend but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy :)

I'm not a fan of roller coaster rides. But they said, Life is a roller coaster. If I'm getting used to life's ups and downs, I'm sure 1 round of a roller coaster ride in an amusement park won't do me harm :)

I actually want to blog everyday.

2008-11-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

But I also have the tendency of feeling too lazy to blog. Just like right now. I'm committing the sin of blogging just for the sake of having something to blog. See I'm not even opening any point. Nor am I sharing whatever happened to me for the days I was absent from my blog.

What I am 100% sure of is that if I don't consult with thesis adviser soon, I'm doomed. Like really really doomed. I was planning to revise my draft last Saturday but I ended up reading a novel instead. Like seriously being lazy is becoming more of a habit right now which is a bad thing 'coz this is the most important school year of my life! Gaaaah. Can someone or even a miracle please please please make me go to work? ._.

Oh yea, I just like to share the fact that I deeply regret not going to Hero Con last Saturday. Darn that headache. Gahhh. I'll be retiring Tifa soon to make way for another cosplay project. Yey~

Okay I'm off to my room now 'coz my mood's really not that good. HAHAHA. It's my time of the month, please understand. LOL :)

Ano ba yan :/

2008-11-19T16:04:00.003+08:00

Minsan ko lang maalala yung mga panaginip ko. Tas madalas alam ko marami sila pero isa lang maalala ko. Ang weird, since late ako natulog at ang aga ko nagising feeling ko tuloy isa lang panaginip ko. Nandun siya sa panaginip ko! Hindi ko naman siya iniisip. Kakatapos ko lang makausap sina Nappy, Jero, Ira at Near nun sa cellphone. Tas before nun andun pa sina Skye, Pat at Amon so sobrang saya lang talaga ng usapan namin. Kaya di ko lam bat nandun xa sa panaginip kooooooo. Nakaka-ewan. Di ko lam pakiramdam. Rarrr.

Ito pa yung sinabi nya na naalala ko ng sobra, "Pwede ba ko magpunta sa graduation mo?" Ako naman, "Bat naman hinde?" Tas niyakap akoooooooooooooo! Ayaw ko na, ayaw ko naaaaaaa x[

Hmmm.

2008-11-17T00:55:00.001+08:00

Do you think at some point a person misses someone he or she left? Just a thought :)

Want what we can't have :)

2008-11-15T00:20:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we get what we want but we don't realize that we do already because usually, we expect it to come from someone else. I'm at this point in my life wherein I don't really know what it is that I want.

I do not mean to offend anyone with my previous post. If you think otherwise about things that I blog here, that's fine with me. But then again, the last thing I wanna do is offend anyone. I love writing about things based on my point of view. Thanks :D

The truth and perception :)

2008-11-13T19:59:00.005+08:00

We attended our first class for the 2nd semester today and it was as always, short, dreadful and exciting :) I once again arrived late in school and was actually clueless of what the room number is of our first subject (talk about being responsible, HAHA). I was looking forward to attend my first subject because it's all about advertising. And I really really love advertising though I'm really not that creative :) I just love the thought of making people buy your product by mere words, phrases and images. I was able to get lots of new ideas from our professor. He taught us that reality does not usually sell. If for example, you wanna be famous, say on friendster, you'd build an image that would make people like you. If you do otherwise, you probably want social suicide. I've met a handful of people who lie so that people would like them; those who'd say that they want this or that or they're like this or that when in fact their personality's entirely opposite. Also, those who join the bandwagon because they wanna be "in". Pathetic, really. I've also known people who look entirely different from their friendster and myspace profiles. And I'm like "hindi ko siya maalala...". I have nothing against these people though, their motives are totally understandable in the first place. There was once in my life when I wanted so bad to fit in, then I eventually got tired of it. So maybe these people would too :). Maybe they'll eventually realize that it's waaaaaay better to meet friends who'll like you and love you for who you really are and look like :)

Our speech communication class is scary. I thought days writing speeches were over. Imagine having to deliver memorized speeches. I can't even deliver a speech properly with a copy of my speech plan on my face and then now I have to memorize it? Gaah. But I believe that despite the course's dreadful requirements, it'll come in handy when I grow older. HAHA :) I'm trying really hard to think positive by the way *winks*

I'm gonna share pictures I took yesterday with Chelly and Frances while killing time in UP :)

Just to make things clear, I'm not anti-social, I'm just pro-reality :) These pictures are unedited by the way.

Blog ko to, wag ka magulo! K? :))

2008-11-12T19:11:00.002+08:00

I went to school last Tuesday to supposedly finish enrolling and attend my first class this 2nd semester. But due to UP's mysterious enrollment, I ended up going home marked absent on my first class and not officially enrolled. Like, wow. And to add more shit to it, it was raining hard, and my feet got wet from the flood at Faura. So anyway, that afternoon, I got to school early, like 30 minutes before the meet up time, and I decided to, well have a smoke while I was waiting. While facing the other side, I saw my friend my Mei smiling at me, signalling me to wait for her because she was gonna smoke to. Mei's greeting was "Putangina Len, puyat ka nanaman!" And was like, "oo nga e. HAHAHA." A couple of seconds after that Dan, Luis and their 2 friends went out to greet us. Dan gave Mei and I a kiss on the cheek. :) After having my lunch Chelly and I went inside to look for Frances so that we could talk about the subjects we would get. I greeted Manong guard with "Kuya good morning!" sabay "Good afternoon na! haha" tas ako naman "ay oo nga noh. serry kuya!" sabaw??

Anyway, Az and I were talking today and I was telling her how much I enjoy cosplaying. That's like the only reason why I go home late nowadays. I don't really like going to bars though but I usually (like a couple of months ago) go home late because I hang out with friends or go somewhere else. I told her I like doing it because you get to hang out in a place where you all share a common interest and that you meet friends who don't befriend you because you look cool, or that you're gorgeous and stuff. I'd like to deviate myself from people who go out to have flings or pseudo relationships or booze til they like literally crawl on the floor. I like clean fun :D

I've been meeting and talking with people who have A LOT of things to be grateful for but are more humble than those who have nothing to boast other than air on their heads. But still there are some who are lets say sadyang mayabang lang. Serry, kung mayabang ka barado pulido ka sakin. HAHAHA :))

I used to think...

2008-11-12T00:11:00.002+08:00

that people don't change. This mindset has been greatly affected by people whom I've met in the past who keep on doing what they do best, and that is breaking their promises and keeping you hoping for nothing. If not for Yax, I would've never believed that people change, at least they eventually do :) It's never too late to start again. Yes, I believe that now :)

http://www.philonline.com.ph/~naphils/

I'm lovin the gift :D

2008-11-10T15:05:00.002+08:00

Love is a gift. Anyone can receive it, some may like it, some may not. Some may be deserving, most might just be lucky :) And yes, I do feel loved. The simple reason of why I keep on smiling everyday :) I love a lot of people, but there's this one who, let me say, stand out. :)

I'm one of the weirdest people, probably one of the insensitive ones, who finds it hard to have crushes. I find it harder to fall in love. But when I do, people around me know it, and I do to. And right now, yes I am inlove. Hahaha. I'm keeping the person's name a secret. He doesn't like me anwyay :) So basically, it wouldn't make any difference if he knew :)

So there's this boy and I started noticing him a couple of months ago. And I was in denial of how I felt until there came this day when I was feeling so down and he sent me this text message which contained not more than 20 words but it made me laugh hard. That message made me feel really really happy :) And until now, he's like the only person who makes me feel soooooooo happy.

The world may not know who you are but at least they know that of all the people, there's one boy who's making Leny really really happy :)

The past can can't be undone :|

2008-10-10T15:45:00.002+08:00

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told i've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than i could bear

Though i've tried, i've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better i should know
So don't come 'round here
And tell me i told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not hea
lIt's the bitter taste of losing everything i've held so dear

I've fallenI have sunk so low
I messed up
Better i should know
So don't come 'round here
And tell me i told you so.

May naalala lang ako. Kasi kasi naman umuulan, ang sarap tuloy magdrama. HAHA :)) Naranasan niyo na ba na mawala lahat sa isang iglap yung isang bagay na sobrang inaalagaan mo? Oh kaya yung madisappoint ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo? Kung oo, ang sakit noh? Masahol pa yung feeling sa binugbog ka, bumagsak ka sa exam, nadapa ka oh kung ano pa man. Eh yung mapaniwala sa mga bagay na hindi naman pala totoo? Masakit din yun. Isa pang solido grabehan yun. HAHAHA :)) Naalala ko lang yung araw na galit na galit ako, inis na inis at nagseselos. Tapos dumating yung araw na nakapag usap kami at nagustuhan ko naman siya. Tumatakbo pa ako sa kanya nun kapag may problema ako. Sabi ko pa nga, okay naman ala siya e. Nafeel niyo na bang mainggit sa mga tao? Yung tipong "ay sana ako nalang yun" o kaya yung "ay bat ganun sila masaya, sana ako din diba? :)" Naramdaman mo na bang mamiss ang mga taong napalapit sayu nung mga oras na pinanghahawakan mo ang bagay na iyon? Naramdaman mo na bang mawalan ng tiwala sa mga taong nakikilala mo dahil sa mga nangyari sayo? Oh kaya yung magkunwari sa lahat na ang saya saya mo kahit na sobrang iiyak ka na pala. Sinu bang niloloko mo, ibang tao, o ang sarili mo?

Pano kung kunwari dumating yung araw na makita mo sila sa harap mong sobrang saya. Makakaya mo kaya? Ano kayang magiging reaksyon mo sa ganun noh? Kasi ang sabi ng mga tao, hindi sila, hindi magiging sila. Pero bakit iba ang nakikita mo? Iiyak ka ba, tatakbo, o magkukunwari nanaman?

Sana hindi siya sa iba nakatingin noh?

Good mood, good day :)

2008-10-09T23:23:00.003+08:00

My mood's good today. Hahaha. For the first time since I can't remember, I was able to sleep for about 8hrs. The moment and the feeling was priceless! XD I actually didn't want to wake up this morning. I just felt like curling up on my bed :) I didn't attend my thesis class today since I haven't done my revisions yet. And naturally, I don't have anything to pass. So I saved my energy and money of travelling from Las Piñas to Manila.

I still left though. I went to SM to buy some stuff. It's a good thing Pot accompanied me there. If not for him, I'd be looking like a poor puppy roaming the mall alone. Just having to imagine the scene makes my wanna laugh hard. HAHAHAHA :)) I was hoping to have my papers bound but apparently the copytrade in SM doesn't offer that service. So I just looked for things I'd use this Sunday for my cosplay :) Oh and just so you know, I asked permission to my mom already and she said yes! Oh the joyyyyy :) Which is why I'm trying this hard to finish everything by Sunday. I wouldn't want any hindrance on that special day. As soon as I got home, I had my 1on1 session with the readings on Congress. And dang there are lots to memorize. Gaah. I don't like politics. And right now, I'm having a wrestle with my thesis. HAHA :)) Add the PA132 paper to that. Come to think of it I might just finish that one too tonight :)

I thought of someone just an hour ago. :) Blahblahblah.

Happy Birthday Ate Nat :) I miss you. Hehe :)

What I get from stress.

2008-10-08T20:34:00.002+08:00

I've been having a really unpleasant mood since this morning. I nearly cried on the dining table this morning just because my mom kept asking me questions and I didn't want her doing that. I was too tired from doign all the school works these previous nights. And then, I got really mad at my sister for sending the message to a different recipient; that being my mom. My mom interrogated me before I left for school this morning which made me irritated again.

I thought I was late for my 9am class. Well I know that I'm already late since the busses were yet again stalled at the LaSalle area of Manila. It really gets on my nerves having to wait for 20mins just to get past LaSalle. It consumes a lot of time, and makes me more stressed :/.

I arrived at school around 9:30 am. Surprise surprise, my professor was not there yet. In fact she came in around 10:30. The waiting didn't make me irritated or something. I just wished that I didn't leave the house that early with the hopes of catching up.

My speech is finally done. At least I can cross that out on my to-do list. But still I feel so drained. RAR.

Sa totoo lang kaya ako ganito dahil naiinis na talaga ako sa mga taong sinasabing snob ako. Dinadagdagan niyo ang inis ko sa araw araw. Ang dami ko na ngang ginagawa, ddramahan niyo pa ako. Ano baaaaa? Bukas tuloy ayaw ko na magparamdam sa kahit sino sainyo. Lalo na sa mga taong hindi makaintindi ng salitang busy. Try niyo, palit tayu ng posisyon kung hindi kayo mangarag diyan.

The return :)

2008-10-06T18:25:00.003+08:00

...of Leny! HAHAHA. I once left blogger and here I am coming back :P I missed having a separate site for my rants and what-have-yous. I just hope that I'd be able to update this as much as I update my multiply and my friendster.

Anyhoo, I was reading my previous entries and I read a couple of errors. Sorry for that. I'm too lazy to edit them anyway. HAHAHA.

How have I been? I've been pretty great lately. Just a little stressed. No make that really stressed. But I can keep up with it, well for now :) I've been lazier than ever. Eversince my laptop crashed I didn't felt like recovering the files I had there. So goodbye to all the songs, videos, games and pictures. Hurts like hell to lose all of those.

So basically I have to do a lot of things. But look at me blogging all the way. HAHAHA. Slap me please? :P

PARANG PERO HINDI :P

2008-07-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

I'm not, not sure not too sure how it feels to handle everyday...

kala mo maemo? ahahahah. joke time lang yan :P actually di ko talaga lam pano kasi ang daming gagawin e. practicum folder, thesis proposals, yung isang top secret plan na gusto kong gawin talaga! woahahahahaha. anu kaya noh? hindi kasi effective time management ko. I'm doomed. RAR!

Fountain.

2008-07-08T00:34:00.002+08:00

Bravo! I have 17 entries to date. Blahhh. Anyway, I'm really really sleepy right now so I'll just write fast or at least type fast. Haha! Sometimes, the best way to release all the anger, the sadness and the pain is to share it with a friend who understands and listens while you're crying. Believe me, I feel a bit better after that. Thanks for listening Pot :)

Interesting :)

2008-06-24T19:33:00.004+08:00

30 minutes ago, mys sister was downstairs fixing her bag. Then she was climbing the stairs that would lead to no other place but my room. As she was climbing she said "Len, may sasabihin ako. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ka o hindi." So I thought she'd be using the pc already which would definitiely not make me happy. Then she was right there in front of my door, holding her bag. "May papakita ako sayo (as she gets something in the inside pocekt of the bag)" she said, the she got it. On her hand, there it was, the ring I thought I lost 2 months ago. It was apparently on that bag and I swear I couldn't remember the time I used it. I'm actually still thinking why it's there. And so I thought of taking pictures of the things I've keep for oh-so-long :)

This blue rose is 4 years, and 4 months old. :)

This heart-shaped leaf is 4 months old :)

This ring he made was given to me even before we became "us" way back in 2003.

Then the very first ring. This was bought October of 2003.

Then this dolphin ring was originally his then he decided to give it to me.

Then this was bought December 2006. Because I didn't want him to buy a new ring. Haha. We opted for this.

Then tadaa. This ring would turn 1 year old this August. I thought I lost this one. I bet most of my friends didn't know I even lost this :)

I just had this thought of posting these. I'm so overwhelmed because my sister found it. Hahaha! Really funny. Anyway, my favorite love story is the one that I used to be in. It was err extraordinary?

Wow :)

2008-06-23T20:00:00.003+08:00

It was 4:30am. My sister was overly worried and woke me up from my deep slumber. She desperately asked me to go down to our room. She was worried because of the strong winds that time. Even my mom was unaware that strong winds were present that time. I barely had the energy to rise from my bed, or to even worry about the wind as well. I was too tired, and too sleepy to even talk. So I closed my eyes and when I woke up, the winds are gone, the strong winds I mean. I took a picture of what was behind us. The street was quiet, the sky was dark, and the houses looked like the was no one there. It was all very calm. Knowing the person that I am, I hated the atmosphere then. I hate the rain remember? Eventhough how much coolness it brings, I still hate it; it makes me feel gloomy. To add up to my dismay, the cable had no reception all day! Good think Frances let me borrow one of her anime dvd so I watched it all day. played a little of my online games and basically just slouched in my room. Evening came, and I was really bored. Waited for the advisory of the suspension of classes, played RO again and then slept.

This morning my sister again woke me up! She said mom told her that I should accompany her to the mall. I was all groggy that I forgot to greet my sister happy birthday. She turns 27 today :) And like me, she doesn't look here age which is a good thing. HAHAHAH! I feel that my day's wasted today because there was hardly any rain. No rain here to be exact. I have to do some research but that isn't possible coz there's still no classes tomorrow. Hayayay. Anyway. this morning my mom told me that she can see that I'm improving. And believe me it was the first in the 19 years of my life. I believe I have always been this brat which is why hearing those words from her really made me proud of myself :) Thank you God :)

Anwyay, wow for the great weather today and wow for the nicer me! :D

Really :)

2008-06-21T09:17:00.004+08:00

Lately, more and more have been noticing that I look happy. And I thank those people for that because I really am happy. I know some would still assume that I'm pretending but I'm not. The source of happiness is actually from a lot of things. My friends and family contribute the biggest part, cosplaying, my hamster, my online games, my camera and my urge to try new things. I've been really brave lately. Great, right? Hehehe :) I've been sleeping well and I've been studying too. I've become less mataray lately because I suddenly realized that I have to start becoming nice again. Ang pangit kasi ng feeling ng parating nagtataray. Nakakasakit sa ulo. Haha!

You know what? Lately I realized A LOT of things. I've been cutting down with my vices [yay for that], I go out of the house less, I sleep early, I eat right [haha!] and more. I just want to take care of myself now. After all, who else would do it but me right? I want to start being healthy!

I once had high hopes for someone who came back and eventually left (again). Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy what life has to offer me. Yes. I removed you on my friends list. I just think it's best for me not to see you, to have any contact with you. Why? Because it makes things harder for me, really really hard. So basically, what I'm trying to say is byebye na talaga...

How was it?

2008-06-19T15:53:00.005+08:00

The first week of school was err scary and fun. Haha, kinda weird to have those two together right but yeah, the week was like that. Scary because we could already see the burden or the obstacles that we'll be facing in the coming days, weeks and months. I became worried [more and more this time] because I really want to graduate on time! I don't want to be left behind. Huhu :[ Well others would say, "all it takes is determination." And yeah determination is the answer but having that determination is quite hard. Especially when you're someone like me who doesn't have that good attention-span. Hahaha. We've met some new professors too :) We've been cramming with 7 newspapers and 2 magazines [100+ page each] because of our impromptu in Speech 133 but thank God I'm done! I performed miserably though, but I tried my best :) So cheers to the coming days [what I meant is good luck]. I'm glad to be back and more focused than ever! OrCom mates, let's do our very best, shall we? ;] Oh well, let's all enjoy 10 months of sweat and tears!

I look chubby on the photo. Sorry about that, haha!

Hindi ko lam bakit...

2008-06-07T11:26:00.002+08:00

iniintindi ko sinasabi mo. Nagiisip tuloy ako ngaun! Hmph! Hahahahaha xD

Thrill of the fall.

2008-06-04T18:48:00.002+08:00

I tried my best. Every humane thing possible. I just can't figure out and you just can't seem to realize.

That would be the last time.

I'm sorry. :[

And they say it somehow fades away...

2008-06-01T15:01:00.009+08:00

I could barely sleep that May 31 morning [around 2am] because I was dead nervous about the cosplay event that will be held at 10am, at the SMX Convention. I got up from bed around 7am and I saw this (no number) that called twice around 5am. I was again puzzled because that number has called me for like 6 times already during the past week. I sent a text message to someone whom I assumed could be the caller. I got down and I wasn't barely able to eat my breakfast. I finished packing my costume and fixing my hair around 9:30. We rode the car and left the house. To my mom's dismay (yeah instead of mine), coastal road was erm very crowded that morning. It was pretty unusual because it is not all the time that I encounter such crowdedness on a Saturday morning. My mom was panicking because she's fearing that I might be late. I called Az and she said that they were already on the queue, a very long one to be exact. At long last, we were there at the vicinity. As the car slowly approaches the SMX convention, the line of people was seen. And I feared that I might not get to see where Frances and Az were. I walked and see the faces staring at me. As if I were a lost kid looking for her parents. And at one glance, there they were; Az and Frances were like 5 footsteps away from me. I saw them, yay for me! We waited, and waited and waited untill finally we got in! As we waited to get past the guards, someone called my up. Tried to prank call me but then I mentioned that name of the person that I sent the text message. He laughed and said yes, it was him who called up. He wanted me to accompany him and I said I can't 'coz I'm there in Mall of Asia. I then suggested that he come to MoA. I didn't know he was really serious that he was going. He said he was gonna be there. And so were able to get past the guards, we bought tickets, went through the girls line and got our stamps. Wowee, the hall was huge and it was filled with all sorts of anime stuff! The people wearing their costumes all looked good. My orginal plan was to harass some cosplayers there but I wasn't successful with that *evil laugh* Around 1pm I received a text message saying "Len, andito na ko nasan ka?" I went outside the SMX convention looked around and then he called me. There he was sitting on a balcony, smiling at me. I was happy to see him again. From then on, he was like my only company. We both walked around, together. He held me tight just like the old times. He held my bag and held anything I was holding whenever someone asks to take a picture of me. I felt safe and happy that moment. I missed havong someone to laugh with. I remember his reactions whenever someone would ask to take a picture of me or whenever someone would look at me. We were looking for Az and Frances because I lost them. Haha! So anyway, he said he was hungry and I didn't know that there was food sold in the hall. So we gout out of SMX convention. Went in MoA and walked from end to end. I felt really shy 'coz people were looking at me. And I know they're wondering why I'm dressed like that. Haha! I was so embarassed I just laughed. Hahahaha! When we went back, we finally saw Az and company. I was glad! Though my feet really hurt. Gah. We all laughed and had really so much fun! Time flies so fast that I barely noticed it was nearly 5pm. So I bid my friends goodbye because I went home with him. At the shuttle, we talked about some things and I felt the need to be there for him. I was really worried about him and I know the words that I said to him clearly contained that worry I felt. I just told him that everything will be alright for him in the end. And that I'll be here when he needs someone to confide with.

That night I cried... I missed him, yes I did. And I still do but I felt that things are different. I remember the time when he held my hand. I was behind him then and I looked at him and I wondered what I would do. I didn't know if I should hold his too, or just leave my hand that way. And right then and then I realized that I'm better off as his friend and nothing more. The feeling's weird 'coz it's new; it's surprsing. I can look straight into his eyes without even feeling like crying. What suddenly happened to me, to us?

Just this morning I was disappointed because I knew what he was still doing. And really I don't know when things are gonna change for him. To whoever: Again, if you want a quiet life, leave all of the lies. Be true to everyone and yourself. Take care of yourself, love yourself more if you can. I'm always here for you and I know you know that. You seem happy with her, stay happy then :) Uulitin ko sinabi ko sayo. Iisa ka lang sa 6 na bilyon, wag mo sayangin buhay mo. Huwag mong hintayin na magsisi ka, ha? Meron ka mang kapangalan sa ibang lugar, hindi parin ikaw yun!

To Az, Frances, Glemn, Juliet and OMAKE, sobrang thank you! I had so much fun you don't even know how much :) See you in the coming events. I LOVE YOU!

Of photography and love :)

2008-05-30T17:55:00.002+08:00

I just browsed deviantart a while ago and was very amazed with the new photographs I saw. Some of which have been posted here in my blog. Amazing how these people create such stunning works of art. Like two months ago, I was very much inspired to do all sorts of things. I was even moved to try photography and photomanipulation. I don't really know why I'm losing this inspiration. As much as I would want to create great photos, I just can't. I'm hoping to have this urge to try photography again. Did I just make sense or not? :P

I know you know :)

2008-05-28T01:05:00.004+08:00

Many people have been asking me why I still don't have a boyfriend. The question of whether I'm still inlove with someone should be out of the issue. I mean, I never ran out of people whom I loved. I loved almost everyone who has been true to me :) It's just that I'm not ready yet and I'm really not sure when this is gonna change. Enjoy myself? Probably, but I enjoy life with or without a boyfriend so technically there's not much of a difference now.

I appreciate all the efforts shown by people I've met long ago and the people I've met just in aeRO or in friendster. I may not know you deeply or seen you physically but you surely changed the way I think about people who take advantage of ~~broken-hearted~~ single girls. You've shown me respect and friendship that I'll surely treasure. :)

Sure I have this one reason to cry, but I'll give you a million or even billions of reasons why I could smile :) Right now, all I need are true friends rather than suitors or a boyfriend :) I know you all know that, don't you? :)

Unsent Letter.

2008-05-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

Warning: Madrama at tagalog lahat. Wahahahaha!

Ewan ko bat ko naisipan na isulat to dito. Namimiss kita, oo pero ayaw kong malaman mo. Sobrang ayaw ko. Minsan pag gising ko naiisip ko ung mga oras na pagmamasdan kita habang tulog ka. Naalala ko nung 15th birthday mo na sa sobrang puyat mo, nandun tayo sa likod bahay nio, magkaharap na nakaupo. Sinabi mong matutulog ka lang muna, at ako andun lang sa harap mo nakatitig sayo. Sobrang sarap ng feeling ko nun. Tuwang tuwa akong pinagmamasdan kang tulog. Naalala ko rin ung mga oras na gigising ka andun ako sa bahay niyo at si Mama isasama ako sa breakfast niyo. Hanggang lunch pati dinner kasama ako. Ang saya lang eh. Naaala ko pa na pag lasing ka, tapos nagddrama ka sakin (in a nakakatuwang way) tapos paulit ulit mong sasabihin na "Len, I love you." Namimiss ko ung mga oras na may bigla nalang yayakap sakin, ikikiss ako sa noo, kakargahin ako, patatawanin ako, paiiyakin ako para makita kung nag alala ba talaga ko. Yung mga oras na tatawag ka sakin para lang sabihin na namimiss mo ko. Yung mga oras na gumagapang ako sa bahay para makagamit ng telepono. Alam mo? Namimiss kong may kkwentuhan ng lahaaaat ng nangyayari sakin araw araw. Namimiss ko yung taong nagseselos sa mga pumapaligid. Namimiss ko yung mga tuta, yung mga oras na tawa tayo ng tawa sa bus. Yung mga pangungulit natin sa isa't isa pag wala tayong magawa. Namimiss kong may nagagalit pag hindi ako kumakain agad, o uuwi ng maaga. Namimiss ko si Papa na tuwing kakausapin ako titingnan muna kita para magpainterpret, si Ate Nat na sobrang kulit. Namimiss ko yung taong pipicturan ko at poposing pa. Hahaha. Nakakatuwa :) Yung sabay tayong mag cocomputer sainyo. Na sasabihin mong "tara kandong ka sakin." Namimiss ko yung luto mong pagkain. Yung mga oras na nagsosolo lang tayo sa aeRO.

Namimiss kita. Namimiss ko yung yakap mo. Yung ngiti mo na nagkukumpleto sa araw ko :) Sana alagaan mong maigi yang sarili mo. Yun lang naman ang winish ko sayo diba? Mag ingat ka parati :)

Belated happy birthday Mom :)

2008-05-22T18:03:00.000+08:00

It was my mom's bday yesterday and I'm just that lazy that I have to post it TODAY! Haha! Anyway, we'll go and celebrate it this weekend so I might be posting a better entry then :) So anyway, Denica forwared a message that contained:

Hindi lahat ng masarap sa pakiramdam ay tama. And poof! I remembered yet again. Bwahahaha. Memories suck. Oops, I'm beginning to be bitter again. Haha. But of course I'm joking :) This line just hit me. It makes sense, perfect sense! Tama nga naman, kung magmamahal ka, siguraduhin mo ng masarap sa pakiramdam at higit sa lahat ung wala kang maapakang ibang tao. Selfish ka kung di ka marunong makiramdam na may nasisira kang relasyon.

Happy Mothers Day :)

2008-05-11T18:58:00.000+08:00

It's the time of the year when mothers are praised for their great works and love for the their children. But of course, the respect, importance and attention that we give to our mothers must not start and end on this day only. It must be all throughout :)

So anyway, this might be my last week for work. And well, I was thinking of going out with friends. I was pretty preoccupied with some things already when... I struck me all over again. Gaah. The feeling is new to me again and somewhat weird. You remember someone again. It's sorta erm, nakakasawa? I actually wouldn't feel this way if if if I hadn't pressed that skill I had with my character in aeRO. Haha! Again, it's my fault why this feeling came back. Stupiiid Leny for that :D

Oh well, this too shall pass :)

Whaaaat?

2008-05-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

I've been reading lots of gossip lately during my spare time. And I've seen lots of hollywood couples filing for divorce. Mostly the reason is irreconcilabe differences. Then I wondered, what the hell. What differences can't you reconcile? I mean, you should have known each very well to accept each other's differences. It's just sad how the sacrament gets so vandalized by people who are so impulsive. Gaah.

Anyway, I've been asked by some people about advices concerning love. It's kinda weird 'coz these people are like 20+ already and they're asking a mere 19-yr. old about it. And I think I've been giving hurtful-but-realistic answers to their questions. Then again, like some stubborn child, These people do not seem to have a different outlook in their love life. One persistently hangs on despite the fact that her loved one is treating her like trash. And the other one, well I have been vocal about how I hate her man. But she can't seem to see what I see. That her man is not that in to her.

Oh well, love err lovers are blind :) I just wish that in the coming days, they'd get to realize that hey, I'm not worth being treated like crap!

Anyone help?

2008-05-08T22:50:00.001+08:00

I can't edit my layout here. It looks distorted! I tried getting codes from blogskins.com. I tried both the blogger main and movable type but it still wouldn't work out. Can someone help me? :(

Hate it.

2008-05-08T20:16:00.001+08:00

Contrary to Garbage's song "I'm only happy when it rains", I'm like one of the people who gets really really sad when it rains. I feel so down for no reason. And believe me when I say there's really no reason behind it. The feeling is like loosing your favorite toy. Rawr.

It's really weird 'coz it's still summer and yet it's been raining for like 2 days now. Global warming is really bothering me. When it's hot, it's REAAALLLLYYYY hot. lame post, haha!

new url :)

2008-05-07T19:33:00.000+08:00

I don't know what happened to my other blog but it sorta got infected with Trojan (according to my anti-virus). So I'm keeping it safe and switched to this :) Welcome me back to the blogging world :) I'm gonna be an addition to the cyber traffic. Nyahahahahahaha :)

Anyway, in a matter of 3 weeks we'd all be coming back to school. Deadlines and cramming moments here we come, AGAIN. Haha >:) Time flies so fast! This coming April 9 will be my first month on the company I'm having my ojt. And I'm really enjoying my stay there. But then again, I do want to rest. Like sleep until 11am.

So I've been doing some net/window shopping and I set my eyes on this baby :)

A red PSP! I desperately want this one. I like it in gold too ;)