I don't like labels. I'm not an object to begin with. I'm not a fan of sadness. I don't like it when people around me are sad. I'll try everything just to make people I love smile :) I have my flaws but I tell you, I'm a nice person. But I can be really mean if I want to so don't push me :)

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Interesting :)
♥ 7:33 PM Tuesday, June 24, 2008
30 minutes ago, mys sister was downstairs fixing her bag. Then she was climbing the stairs that would lead to no other place but my room. As she was climbing she said "Len, may sasabihin ako. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ka o hindi." So I thought she'd be using the pc already which would definitiely not make me happy. Then she was right there in front of my door, holding her bag. "May papakita ako sayo (as she gets something in the inside pocekt of the bag)" she said, the she got it. On her hand, there it was, the ring I thought I lost 2 months ago. It was apparently on that bag and I swear I couldn't remember the time I used it. I'm actually still thinking why it's there. And so I thought of taking pictures of the things I've keep for oh-so-long :)



This blue rose is 4 years, and 4 months old. :)

This heart-shaped leaf is 4 months old :)


This ring he made was given to me even before we became "us" way back in 2003.

Then the very first ring. This was bought October of 2003.

Then this dolphin ring was originally his then he decided to give it to me.


Then this was bought December 2006. Because I didn't want him to buy a new ring. Haha. We opted for this.

Then tadaa. This ring would turn 1 year old this August. I thought I lost this one. I bet most of my friends didn't know I even lost this :)

I just had this thought of posting these. I'm so overwhelmed because my sister found it. Hahaha! Really funny. Anyway, my favorite love story is the one that I used to be in. It was err extraordinary?



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Wow :)
♥ 8:00 PM Monday, June 23, 2008

It was 4:30am. My sister was overly worried and woke me up from my deep slumber. She desperately asked me to go down to our room. She was worried because of the strong winds that time. Even my mom was unaware that strong winds were present that time. I barely had the energy to rise from my bed, or to even worry about the wind as well. I was too tired, and too sleepy to even talk. So I closed my eyes and when I woke up, the winds are gone, the strong winds I mean. I took a picture of what was behind us. The street was quiet, the sky was dark, and the houses looked like the was no one there. It was all very calm. Knowing the person that I am, I hated the atmosphere then. I hate the rain remember? Eventhough how much coolness it brings, I still hate it; it makes me feel gloomy. To add up to my dismay, the cable had no reception all day! Good think Frances let me borrow one of her anime dvd so I watched it all day. played a little of my online games and basically just slouched in my room. Evening came, and I was really bored. Waited for the advisory of the suspension of classes, played RO again and then slept.

This morning my sister again woke me up! She said mom told her that I should accompany her to the mall. I was all groggy that I forgot to greet my sister happy birthday. She turns 27 today :) And like me, she doesn't look here age which is a good thing. HAHAHAH! I feel that my day's wasted today because there was hardly any rain. No rain here to be exact. I have to do some research but that isn't possible coz there's still no classes tomorrow. Hayayay. Anyway. this morning my mom told me that she can see that I'm improving. And believe me it was the first in the 19 years of my life. I believe I have always been this brat which is why hearing those words from her really made me proud of myself :) Thank you God :)

Anwyay, wow for the great weather today and wow for the nicer me! :D

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Really :)
♥ 9:17 AM Saturday, June 21, 2008
Lately, more and more have been noticing that I look happy. And I thank those people for that because I really am happy. I know some would still assume that I'm pretending but I'm not. The source of happiness is actually from a lot of things. My friends and family contribute the biggest part, cosplaying, my hamster, my online games, my camera and my urge to try new things. I've been really brave lately. Great, right? Hehehe :) I've been sleeping well and I've been studying too. I've become less mataray lately because I suddenly realized that I have to start becoming nice again. Ang pangit kasi ng feeling ng parating nagtataray. Nakakasakit sa ulo. Haha!

You know what? Lately I realized A LOT of things. I've been cutting down with my vices [yay for that], I go out of the house less, I sleep early, I eat right [haha!] and more. I just want to take care of myself now. After all, who else would do it but me right? I want to start being healthy!

I once had high hopes for someone who came back and eventually left (again). Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy what life has to offer me. Yes. I removed you on my friends list. I just think it's best for me not to see you, to have any contact with you. Why? Because it makes things harder for me, really really hard. So basically, what I'm trying to say is byebye na talaga...

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How was it?
♥ 3:53 PM Thursday, June 19, 2008

The first week of school was err scary and fun. Haha, kinda weird to have those two together right but yeah, the week was like that. Scary because we could already see the burden or the obstacles that we'll be facing in the coming days, weeks and months. I became worried [more and more this time] because I really want to graduate on time! I don't want to be left behind. Huhu :[ Well others would say, "all it takes is determination." And yeah determination is the answer but having that determination is quite hard. Especially when you're someone like me who doesn't have that good attention-span. Hahaha. We've met some new professors too :) We've been cramming with 7 newspapers and 2 magazines [100+ page each] because of our impromptu in Speech 133 but thank God I'm done! I performed miserably though, but I tried my best :) So cheers to the coming days [what I meant is good luck]. I'm glad to be back and more focused than ever! OrCom mates, let's do our very best, shall we? ;] Oh well, let's all enjoy 10 months of sweat and tears!

I look chubby on the photo. Sorry about that, haha!

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Hindi ko lam bakit...
♥ 11:26 AM Saturday, June 7, 2008
iniintindi ko sinasabi mo. Nagiisip tuloy ako ngaun! Hmph! Hahahahaha xD

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Thrill of the fall.
♥ 6:48 PM Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I tried my best. Every humane thing possible. I just can't figure out and you just can't seem to realize.


That would be the last time.


I'm sorry. :[

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And they say it somehow fades away...
♥ 3:01 PM Sunday, June 1, 2008
I could barely sleep that May 31 morning [around 2am] because I was dead nervous about the cosplay event that will be held at 10am, at the SMX Convention. I got up from bed around 7am and I saw this (no number) that called twice around 5am. I was again puzzled because that number has called me for like 6 times already during the past week. I sent a text message to someone whom I assumed could be the caller. I got down and I wasn't barely able to eat my breakfast. I finished packing my costume and fixing my hair around 9:30. We rode the car and left the house. To my mom's dismay (yeah instead of mine), coastal road was erm very crowded that morning. It was pretty unusual because it is not all the time that I encounter such crowdedness on a Saturday morning. My mom was panicking because she's fearing that I might be late. I called Az and she said that they were already on the queue, a very long one to be exact. At long last, we were there at the vicinity. As the car slowly approaches the SMX convention, the line of people was seen. And I feared that I might not get to see where Frances and Az were. I walked and see the faces staring at me. As if I were a lost kid looking for her parents. And at one glance, there they were; Az and Frances were like 5 footsteps away from me. I saw them, yay for me! We waited, and waited and waited untill finally we got in! As we waited to get past the guards, someone called my up. Tried to prank call me but then I mentioned that name of the person that I sent the text message. He laughed and said yes, it was him who called up. He wanted me to accompany him and I said I can't 'coz I'm there in Mall of Asia. I then suggested that he come to MoA. I didn't know he was really serious that he was going. He said he was gonna be there. And so were able to get past the guards, we bought tickets, went through the girls line and got our stamps. Wowee, the hall was huge and it was filled with all sorts of anime stuff! The people wearing their costumes all looked good. My orginal plan was to harass some cosplayers there but I wasn't successful with that *evil laugh* Around 1pm I received a text message saying "Len, andito na ko nasan ka?" I went outside the SMX convention looked around and then he called me. There he was sitting on a balcony, smiling at me. I was happy to see him again. From then on, he was like my only company. We both walked around, together. He held me tight just like the old times. He held my bag and held anything I was holding whenever someone asks to take a picture of me. I felt safe and happy that moment. I missed havong someone to laugh with. I remember his reactions whenever someone would ask to take a picture of me or whenever someone would look at me. We were looking for Az and Frances because I lost them. Haha! So anyway, he said he was hungry and I didn't know that there was food sold in the hall. So we gout out of SMX convention. Went in MoA and walked from end to end. I felt really shy 'coz people were looking at me. And I know they're wondering why I'm dressed like that. Haha! I was so embarassed I just laughed. Hahahaha! When we went back, we finally saw Az and company. I was glad! Though my feet really hurt. Gah. We all laughed and had really so much fun! Time flies so fast that I barely noticed it was nearly 5pm. So I bid my friends goodbye because I went home with him. At the shuttle, we talked about some things and I felt the need to be there for him. I was really worried about him and I know the words that I said to him clearly contained that worry I felt. I just told him that everything will be alright for him in the end. And that I'll be here when he needs someone to confide with.


That night I cried... I missed him, yes I did. And I still do but I felt that things are different. I remember the time when he held my hand. I was behind him then and I looked at him and I wondered what I would do. I didn't know if I should hold his too, or just leave my hand that way. And right then and then I realized that I'm better off as his friend and nothing more. The feeling's weird 'coz it's new; it's surprsing. I can look straight into his eyes without even feeling like crying. What suddenly happened to me, to us?


Just this morning I was disappointed because I knew what he was still doing. And really I don't know when things are gonna change for him. To whoever: Again, if you want a quiet life, leave all of the lies. Be true to everyone and yourself. Take care of yourself, love yourself more if you can. I'm always here for you and I know you know that. You seem happy with her, stay happy then :) Uulitin ko sinabi ko sayo. Iisa ka lang sa 6 na bilyon, wag mo sayangin buhay mo. Huwag mong hintayin na magsisi ka, ha? Meron ka mang kapangalan sa ibang lugar, hindi parin ikaw yun!


To Az, Frances, Glemn, Juliet and OMAKE, sobrang thank you! I had so much fun you don't even know how much :) See you in the coming events. I LOVE YOU!

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